UFC 161's stacked card of entertaining
fight finishers includes a litany of nicknames, from funny to ferocious. Here, we analyze the fighters, their alternative monikers,
and the highly-scientific awesomeness rating awarded to each.
"Suga" Rashad Evans
Positive: Classic "sweet science" nod for a fast and powerful puncher
Negative: Misspellings are nothing to joke about
Overall awesomeness score: 77
Dan "Hendo" Henderson
Positive: Fun to say and everything about Henderson is naturally badass; has inspired a second generation of fighter nicknames in "Bendo."
Negative: What happened to “Hollywood” Henderson or “Dangerous” Dan?
Overall awesomeness score: 88
Roy "Big Country" Nelson
Positive: One-punch knockout artist with a mullet-- what else are you going to call him? (He says training partners gave him the name because of his Midwest-style wrestling powess.)
Negative: With his recent weight loss, coming close to “Medium Country”.
Overall awesomeness score: 100
Positive: Both of real names are plenty unique as is.
Negative: Seven knockouts in nine fights and you can’t think of a half-decent nickname?
Overall awesomeness score: 64
Ryan "Big Deal" Jimmo
Positive: Hopefully, it is a reference to “Anchorman”.
Negative: Ryan "The Robot" rolls off the tongue and he's just so good at it.
Overall awesomeness score: -100101
Igor "The Duke" Pokrajac
Positive: Joins Michael "The Count" Bisping, Claude "The Prince" Patrick and Spencer "The King" Fisher in the ranks of self-appointed MMA royalty
Negative: Just because John Wayne’s dead doesn’t mean you can take his nickname.
Overall awesomeness score: 56
Positive: She used to go by "Ally-gator," which was the nearly perfect nickname -- her name, a scary animal, a pun, an MMA move all in one.
Negative: She no longer goes by Ally-gator!
Overall awesomeness score of Ally-gator: 1,000,000
Rosi "The Surgeon" Sexton
Positive: Great imagery about rearranging your opponent's body parts a la Josh "The Dentist" Neer; plus, as a practicing osteopath, this gets a double dose of apropos.
Negative: Medical school debt and HMOs will give you nightmares.
Overall awesomeness score: 25,000
Pat "HD" Barry
Positive: Short for "Hype or Die," unique like the man who owns it.
Negative: Missed opportunity to be “Sir Kicks-A-Lot”.
Overall awesomeness score: 1080i
Shawn "The Savage" Jordan
Positive: Accurate for a dude who's a physical beast
Negative: With college degrees in kinesiology and chemistry, he’s a more refined savage than his name implies.
Overall awesomeness score: 2007
Positive: No-nonsense fighter doesn't need a nonsense nickname
Negative: With a penchant for chokes, “The Strangler" would’ve been nice.
Overall awesomeness score: 44
Tyron "The Chosen One" Woodley
Positive: It sounds appropriately impressive for an impressive 11-1 welterweight.
Negative: Why so serious?
Overall awesomeness score: 81
Sam "Hands of Stone" Stout
Positive: Excellent reminder to opponents not to eat any of Stout’s knuckle sandwiches.
Negative: Lingering disappointment that hands are not literally made of stone.
Overall awesomeness score: 135
"The" James Krause
Positive: Short, simple, and clears up any confusion.
Negative: Admittedly, there was very little confusion to begin with.
Overall awesomeness score: 28
Sean "The Punisher" Pierson
Positive: Alliterative and intimidating.
Negative: There’s no substitute for his previous nickname, “Pimp Daddy”.
Overall awesomeness score: 11 (score for “Pimp Daddy” - 345,678)
Positive: A full-time high school woodshop teacher probably should keep it professional without a nickname.
Negative: “Professor Bandsaw” would’ve been great.
Overall awesomeness score: -384
Positive: Bold move for a man who grew up named "Roland" to not go by a shortened version.
Negative: Missed opportunity for the Winnipeg-based fighter to not temporarily go by Roland Delocal
Overall awesomeness score: 42
Edwin "El Feroz" Figueroa
Positive: Two alliterations in one nickname and it sounds both scary and exotic.
Negative: Requires translation.
Overall awesomeness score: Noventa y dos
Mitch "Danger Zone" Clarke
Positive: “Top Gun”, Kenny Loggins, and “Archer” form a holy trinity of references.
Negative: GOOSE?! Still brings back tears.
Overall awesomeness score: 1986
John "The One" Maguire
Positive: At least he’s not another “_______ Assassin”.
Negative: “Gypsy Assassin” would make a ton more sense, as the simplicity may be overshadowed on this card by "The" and "The Chosen One."
Overall awesomeness score: -5
Yves "Tiger" Jabouin
Positive: More original than a Pitbull, this animal moniker still implies agility, mobility, hostility and viciousness.
Negative: Hundreds of videos on Youtube show tigers are simply adorable.
Overall awesomeness score: 91
Dustin "The Disciple" Pague
Positive: Wearing his religion on his sleeve and sounds tough while doing it.
Negative: Bad memories of WCW and the ill-fated One Warrior Nation.
Overall awesomeness score: 777