Axe Murderer vs Gangster
Point and counterpoint.... Wanderlei vs. Sonnen  -UFC ‏

He Only Accepts Messages via Smoke Signal
Does anyone have Steven Seagals phone number? I need to bring in the big guns for this fight. -Tim Kennedy ‏

Hey! Seagal Cut the Ponytail Years Ago!
If you're an adult male and you have a ponytail, I assume you smell and most likely own a snake as a pet -Mitch Clarke ‏

Let’s Tweet About the Government
Ask not what your country can do for you cuuuuuuzzzzzz... they're kinda closed right now. #GovernmentShutdown -Kenny Florian ‏

THE WORLD IS GOING CRAZY BUT AT LEAST I HAVE CATS, RIGHT?!? -Julie Kedzie ‏

JoeJitsu Comedy
What if Bruce Lee had a brother named Brock?? pic.twitter.com/HhF9vnDgnj -Joseph Benavidez ‏

Tough but Not Impossible!
Mr. @danawhite When we win our fights coming up I suggest we do a super tag team fight w/ @sonnench + Me vs @lyotomachidafw + @vitorbelfort  -Tim Kennedy ‏

@TimKennedyMMA that would be a tough one to pull off -Dana White ‏

Can’t Tell From the Pic but Bet He’s Not Wearing Pants
Little morning coffee with my good friend @CodyStamann top of the morning to you Twitter pic.twitter.com/kYKAyUkDxV  -Daron Cruickshank ‏

Call Everyone Toby. He’ll Think It’s Your Thing.
I found out today I'd been calling a guy by the wrong name for like 4 years. His name is Jason, I've been calling him Toby -Mitch Clarke ‏

Dog Stare is Scary
Hey! Whys the baby crying? pic.twitter.com/OLGhyb3lu2  -Duane Ludwig ‏

That Name Sounds So Familiar
And the rumors are true: 9-0 bantamweight @SergioPettis has signed with the UFC, will face @VaughanLoveLee at #UFC167 -UFC ‏

Punchy Smurf
HEY LOOK A SMURF!! (We promote equality in training) @JacksonsMMA @JohnDodsonMMA @ufc pic.twitter.com/P9JuNiMo5A  -Julie Kedzie ‏

Jesse Pinkman Need Not Apply
If you are in the Albuquerque area and don't party or smoke I need a room mate. If you are interested private message me  -Isaac Vallie-Flagg

#KNOCKITOFF
#AdddictedToHashtags -Joseph Benavidez ‏

@JoeJitsu #ItsaWayOfLife #hashtag #hashtag  -Danny Castillo ‏

@lastcall155  #MyFeetSmellDisgusting -Joseph Benavidez ‏

#StartWearingSocks #ThenTryGoldbond #hashtag #hashtag -Danny Castillo ‏

#F***Socks #NoRespectForFungus -Joseph Benavidez