Don’t look now, but permanently irascible former UFC middleweight champion Sean Strickland is starting to mellow out and talk about things you never would have envisioned him discussing as he made his march up the 185-pound ranks, cursing up a storm and actively trying to antagonize as many people as humanly possible.
The 33-year-old standout, who faces Dricus Du Plessis in a championship rematch atop the UFC 312 fight card this weekend in Sydney, Australia, has always been fairly open about coming from a terribly abusive home and how the trauma sustained in his childhood left him with a warped sense of the world.
But ahead of his bout with Du Plessis, stationed in the comfortable surroundings of Xtreme Couture, Strickland spoke with ESPN’s Brett Okamoto about the crippling self-doubt he struggles with as a result of his abusive past, showing an uncommon level of vulnerability in a space that often struggles to accept people sharing their rawest emotions and discussing the subjects that are most uncomfortable for them.
“You take someone like Jon Jones: he reinvented striking, and you can just tell that he did everything with no self-doubt, nothing but confidence,” began Strickland, who admittedly has often been one to take aim at those showing vulnerability, when asked about his conversation with Okamoto on Wednesday afternoon. “People will be like, ‘It should make you a better fighter to be..’

“Naw, dude — it makes you second-guess everything you do; not only in fighting, but in life. When you struggle with chemical imbalance and you struggle innately with it, you’ll go through sections of your life like you’re in a bad dream, and you don’t even know you’re dreaming. All of a sudden, something happens where your brain regulates for a second — this is why I train so much — and the veil is lifted, and you’re like, ‘Where the f***? Who the f*** is that guy?’
"You’re constantly struggling to stay attached and present, taking your surroundings in for what they are and not what they’re perceived to be in your mental state.”
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It’s a rare pulling back of the curtain for Strickland, who has frequently deflected serious questions with angsty sarcasm and dismissive wit, and feels like a signal that the former nomad that bounced from gym-to-gym has found a home and a sense of security in the Las Vegas desert.
In a sport where bravado and unshakable belief in oneself feel like prerequisites, the former champion and current challenger was quick to connect the dots between his constant struggles with self-doubt and his near-permanent presence in the gym.

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“If I had to be honest with myself, it’s probably why I train so much leading up to a fight and why I spar so much,” he said when asked the impact it has had on his career. “Training is like a little bit of serotonin in my brain; it keeps me level.
“If I go through long portions without training, I don’t even realize it’s happening, but I start seeing the world from a different perspective. Training is my little drug-free happy pill that lets my brain level out and see things clearly.”
Interestingly, Strickland said he doesn’t experience any questions about his abilities and potential for securing victory when he’s in the back readying to make the walk or finally stepping into the Octagon.
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“It’s hard when it comes to the future,” he began, leaning back on the couch in his hotel room, wearing a clean white t-shirt and a ‘70s era handlebar moustache that is impressive for only being 10 days old. “You could have reckless self-confidence and (tell yourself), ‘I’m gonna murder this guy; I’m the best in the world.’ That’s probably better to have, but, at the end of the day, no one f***ing knows.
"If we knew, there wouldn't be betting, there wouldn’t be odds, there wouldn't be upsets, there wouldn't be underdogs.
“I know that I did everything in my power to train for this fight,” he added. “I had the best camp, I had the best training partners. Everything has been done, so now we must do and just see what happens.”
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In addition to addressing a longstanding issue stemming from his traumatic upbringing, Strickland also admitted something else that most have always assumed to be true during the course of our conversation.
“It’s so funny because people don’t realize that 90-percent of the s*** I say is a joke,” he said with a smirk and a chuckle in regard to the public request he made of Du Plessis to agree to keep the fight standing on Saturday.
As we laugh about the comment and I probe about whether it’s all a ploy that will lead to his shooting a takedown in the opening 45 seconds of the fight, Strickland shook his head and was honest and direct once again.
“I probably won’t f***ing wrestle,” he said, still shaking his head. “I mean, should I wrestle? Yeah, I probably should wrestle — that wouldn’t be a bad idea, but I like to strike, man; I like to box.
“I’m in the wrong f***ing sport. I’m a boxer who is an MMA fighter.”
It’s not like he can’t wrestle — he actually used his grappling quite frequently and to great success in the early stages of his mixed martial arts career — and he’s heard his coaches shouting at him enough about mixing things up that he’s aware they would prefer if he worked in a takedown every now and again, but since returning from a two-year hiatus following a career-threatening motorcycle injury, the Brazilian jiu jitsu black belt who earned his first UFC victory by taking down and choking out Bubba McDaniel has been exclusively interested in slinging hands.

“They’re just like, ‘Sean, all you need is one takedown for a split second and you win the fight,’ and I’m like, ‘I’m gonna hit this guy!’” he said, joking about the direction he receives from coaches through his camps and fights. “I do it in training — I do it all the time — but you never know.
“Maybe I’ll do the right things this time and f***ing wrestle, but you never know until you’re in there and you’re bleeding down your face in the fourth round, and you’re like, “All right, man — should I wrestle now?”
Whether he wrestles or not, what Strickland will be looking to do without question on Saturday night is avenge his narrow loss to Du Plessis from UFC 297 and bring the two level in their personal series inside the Octagon.
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Though the middleweight title is on the line and being the champion admittedly has its perks, what motivates Strickland more as he heads into the weekend is wanting to feel like things are settled between he and his South African counterpart.
“I think for me, I just wanna get this one settled. It needs to be settled; that’s my biggest takeaway with this,” said Strickland, who landed on the wrong side of a split decision verdict in Toronto last January in an ultra-competitive fight where all three judges scored the contest 48-47. “Titles are cool — you make more money, and for however long you have the belt, people come up to you and are like, ‘It’s real cool you have the belt,’ but in the grand scheme of my existence, a piece of metal doesn’t…”
He paused, searching for the most concise way to express what he feels.

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“Winning on a personal level drives me more than winning a belt on a public level.”
And in order to earn the satisfaction of drawing level with Du Plessis — and becoming a two-time UFC middleweight champion — the defensively responsible, high-volume boxer knows he needs to be better than he was the first time around, in every possible way.
“The problem is he’s playing checkers, I’m playing chess, but he’s real f***ing good at checkers!” He boomed when asked how he separates himself from “Stillknocks” on Saturday night and earns the victory that he craves. “He’s just really good at it, so it’s up to me to be better.
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“I gotta be sharper, be crisper, down the pipe better. I have to read better. I have to see and use my eyes better. I have to be sharper and have better cardio.
“I have to be myself, but be on a different level, especially with a guy who fights like he does,” he added. “He fights like a Tasmanian devil; full send.
“And I have to be better.”
UFC 312: Du Plessis vs Strickland 2 took place live from Qudos Bank Arena in Sydney Olympic Park, New South Wales, Australia on February 8, 2024. See the final Prelim & Main Card Results, Official Scorecards and Who Won Bonuses - and relive the action on UFC FIGHT PASS!